Are you feeling not just tired but “exhausted”? Do you want to lie down for another 5 minutes, because you feel so sore, despite knowing there is much to do in the house? Or maybe own a robot or magic wand that would do the cooking and magically drive the car and go pick and drop the kids??
Here is a fact. We are “over-whelmed”. We are worn out and maybe a little irritant.
By the way did anyone tell you it is normal to feel that way especially when you have young kids in the house? Looking at my plight my husband once asked me – Ally, have you got too much on your plate? Can you try slowing down? In fact I did have too much going on at one point. I had the household chores to get done, voluntary services at the apartment I live at to look into, the weekly bible study that I lead and I also voluntarily venture into some occasional baking for family and friends. On the other side I need to ensure that my parents and in-laws are doing well too. I simply didn’t know how to refuse or turn down a favour when asked for.
I have the same to ask you – Do you have too much going on in your life? Have you bitten off more than you can chew?
What happens when you are overwhelmed is that your mind just shuts down and your body can’t respond the way it needs to. You begin to feel absolutely hopeless, beaten up and the only thing you start thinking off is to just run away from everything.
The reality is that we can neither run nor escape from our dutiful responsibilities, but there are ways we can help ourselves from feeling this sense of being burdened.
Learn to SLOW DOWN for a change. Let the house be a mess. You haven’t made dinner? Then order something that everyone would love to have. Sometimes you’ve got to let yourself just “be”. Get back to the task at hand when you can and you’re ready to take it up.
QUIET TIME – God grants us strength and grace for each new day. His grace is manna for the day, not for the week or the week after. The Lord’s Prayer says “GIVE US TODAY OUR DAILY BREAD”. So we ask God to lead us in strength and enable us in and through His Holy Spirit for every single day.
EXERCISING – This happens to be one of the most important things to get done, on priority because we tend to procrastinate. Exercising kicks in the energy that you really need for the day. It helps boost the happy hormones. Plus, did you know that hitting the gym or even stepping out for a brisk walk helps you to socialise with people and offer some form of escape for that part of the day.
The Art of saying “NO” – Something that caught my attention on what Debbie wrote is that “Life is a balance”. You need to consider your sanity against the request. Often the greatest pressure to agree to something comes from within. Free yourself of feeling guilty if things do not line up with your needs and priorities. Ask yourself what you are getting out of complying with this request. If you don’t feel that this is something that will benefit you, your family, and priorities, say NO!
You need to have REALISTIC expectations: Children’s temperaments and behaviour cannot be predicted. They change from day to day, one moment to another, and can be very inconsistent. If they pick up their toys today, the next day they won’t.
Something you said an emphatic “no” to, is exactly what they end up doing. So be realistic in your expectations and be easy on yourself. I encourage you to think of yourselves as a “good enough mum” let alone “being the perfect one”. And remember this phase will pass by soon. You are not stuck in it forever.
When somebody OFFERS TO HELP, you just TAKE IT : If your husband offers to do the dishes or the mother-in-law decides to bring over some food to stock in your fridge, learn to just say “yes please”, “sure”, “go ahead”. You don’t have to feel guilty about it but consider these moments as a pure blessing from heaven.
Singing A SONG. In this context I’m not asking us just to sing any song, but songs that praise and glorify God. My firm belief is that singing gospel songs or even playing them softly in the background helps us to be uplifted, being aware of Gods presence and his WORD. “When we sing, the lyrics make perfect sense to us. It allows time for those truths to seep down into our souls and impact us and affect us and change not only our emotional state but the choices we make, the things we do.” – Bob Kauflin (Songwriter and Worship Leader)
Being a grouchy mum is not only bad for the kids, but the spouse too. An entire household gets affected because of our state of mind. So if we are able to try some of the above suggestions, we should be able to find relief from being hassled and overwhelmed.