I scream at my children and I’m not afraid to admit it. It’s the truth, and most often we mothers scream and raise our tones because we are tired, we are sleepy, we need a break, we lack patience and of course we need the kids to listen to us. After the kids had gone off to school, me and my husband were discussing about the amount of noise we make and what were the reasons behind the emotional drama. The point was to get the children to obey, at the same time all this screaming and yelling at them is not good for the overall health and also for the atmosphere in the house. There are times when our screaming has reasons and sometime there are no reasons. It certainly becomes a very bad habit, and also becomes the only means we know to get the children to listen, for them to obey and do the things we want them to get done.
I’m just going to share a few tips on how to stop or at the least limit the number of times we scream. By this, we can lessen the stress we have throughout the day.
- Why am I screaming?: Take a quick emotional call (reason) or check on why your about to scream. The things they do are sometimes worth the screaming. They would have spilt juice all over the table or broken something, whatever it maybe, its not worth screaming. You need to realise that it affects your mood and that in turn affects your whole day. Calm down before we get into the mode of just sputtering out our fury.
- Remember Children are Children: They are bound to do things accidentally, sometimes on purpose and that’s why we are required to be firm and explain to them what is acceptable and what is not, why they should do something and why they shouldn’t. They listen to you responding, which means we explain to them as plainly as possible rather than reacting to them by way of yelling.
- Take a Break: You have had an equally tiring and long day. Everything just happens to add to our misery. The ideal thing to do is just stop what your doing and take a 5-15 min break. Go for a walk, ask the husband to just watch the kids. I sometimes let them watch the TV a little longer so that I can get a breather. I have even let them do what they want in their room so that I can gather myself and ‘let me be.’
- Driving a sense of Fear: Each time you scream at the kids, and when they look at our face, you can see that they are scared. Being scared is not a good thing, but them being able to trust us and respect us is what we need to achieve with them. We don’t allow respect and trust to thrive when we are shouting at them all the time.
- They imitate our behaviour: When we yell at them all the time, they tend to yell at their siblings and even at us. They think they can get what they want with that sort of behaviour. This action of theirs would leave us to think where they got that from. Remember we are partially to blame. They have done exactly what we have taught them to do.
The idea behind this post is to direct us into thinking how am I going to respond regardless of their behaviour. Take it up as a challenge, one step at a time, one day at a time at working towards being a scream free mom and parent.
James 1:19-20: Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.